For those of you that don't know, I am a glorified annuity underwriter. That means I make sure the paperwork is all submitted correctly and then I enter the information into my computer. That is the meat and potatoes version of my job. It's really a bit more involved than that, but I'll spare you the details so that you can stay awake to read this. I am good at my job. I am probably one of the best at what I do here. It gives me a sense of superiority, but the feeling is fleeting. When is boils down to it, I am a data entry monkey. BORING! Lately, I'm been making all of the phone call to reps that send in paperwork that's just not quite right. That means all day I am calling people in high stress jobs and I am adding more stress to their jobs. Did they fuck up? yes. Do they see it that way? no. So, I get yelled at sometimes and have to listen to these rep (who make ten times more than I do) whine that "so in so at Nationwide said that I don't need that form." In response I ask, what is so in so's name, I can conference him in and we can get to the bottom of this. They respond, "Well, I don't remember their name." Of course not, because THEY LIE TO ME. They think that if I think that they got bad information (which them certainly may have)I will go easy on them and let them slide. WRONG!!! It's not my fault that we need an extra form. It is usually the state tax people's fault, or the IRS's fault, or the rep's company's fault. I could care less if the correct paperwork is sent in. However, if it is not, someone else out there does. And it I don't get the correct paperwork in, my company, not the rep's gets fined BIG BUCKS. The worst part about my job is that I never wanted to be a phone rep. I turned down phone rep jobs. I hate that I have to call 30 or so people that don't take the time to do their jobs correctly. This year, I have made one error. ONE. And yet, do I get to share in the thousands of dollars in commissions that my hard work helps financial advisors earn. That would be no. Amy, I'm with you. I need a permanent vacation. Actually, if you check my archives and read "The Plan" you will see that I am not going to be doing this job forever. Hopefully soon I will be the advisor that send in paperwork incorrectly and still gets paid thousands of dollars. THAT will be the shit. I'm done bitching now.
Good news, my poker chips should be here tomorrow. That is good since I am having a card game Saturday night. I've been practicing on my Texas Hold'em plug and play. So far, I've won over $13000. I haven't won a big tournament yet, but I feel that it's because the game is set up to give improbable hand. For example, one hand I had two pair, a computer player had a flush, and another computer payer had a straight. That is highly unlikely. Still, it's a fun game to practice with.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
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3 comments:
I feel your pain, Eric. I'm equally dissatisfied with my job, but for different reasons (as you have already read about in my blog). Like you, every now and then I feel some satisfaction, but it is fleeting. It disappears quickly and I'm left with this sinking feeling in my stomach caused by disappointment in what this job truly is (I started working here less than a year ago and I thought it was going to be very different from what it is), discontent in the career path I've chosen, frustration with my superiors, and a general feeling purposelessness in my role. If I didn't show up to work for a week, I'm not sure my boss or the faculty would notice. My co-workers would notice because most of them are my good friends, but no one that is affected by my "job tasks" would notice. It's fucking ridiculous. It's so extremely disheartening to go to work feeling this way...especially since I'm normally a really driven, motivated, positive, gung-ho type of person.
I had a wonderful old friend that I respect dearly tell me something once that I have really taken to heart. He's this really great guy in his mid 50's who has had amazing life-experiences. He told me once "If you are not happy with what you do, it will affect and infect everything else in your life. Follow your heart...then your head." And he's absolutely right. Every aspect of my life is being affected and infected by the dissatisfaction I have with my job. This is why I have to make a change and WILL make a change as soon as I feel more financially able. Six or seven more months of this and I'm outta here.
This is the entire email that my good friend wrote. Just thought I'd pass along the wisdom. Like I said, he is an amazing person that I have tons of respect for.
"As for direction, I think that is in your control. From years of
experience, I know that whatever it is you are most interested in, that is the field in which you should put your energies. I cannot imagine anything worse professionally that working simply for the money...or the security...or the prestige...or the responsibility. A person needs to find the work that they were meant to do, and then do that. If you are engaged
intellectually, then everything else falls into place.
If you are not happy with what you do, it will affect and infect everything else in your life.
That was the long version. Here is the short one:
Follow your heart...then your head."
Wow, nice advice Mona. I understand where your coming from Eric. Mine of course is a little different, I edit photos, yawn, might sound like fun, but I want to shoot, do it freelance, for a newpaper, whatever, just get out there and shoot (photos, not guns).
Anyway, I have started to actually doing this on the side more latly, and it does make me much happier. I love shooting live music most of all, but it pays like crap (lets see, $8000 worth of equpiment, getting paid $150 for a days work, joy). I bidding on a job now that would actually pay well, but will prob be about 40 hours of work, in addition to my normal 40 hours of work. But in the end I think it would be worth it, good experience and finally the money would be worth it. So we'll see, hopefully my plan will work to be a freelance photographer, take off when I want, do what I want, and sometimes not, like shooting weddings, don't like doing them, but I'm good at it and it pays well. Ok, I've rambled, that's what my blog is for.
BR
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