mmmmm....boobies

No, it's not an attention grabber. I'm really going to post about breasts today. For some reason, the idea popped into my head and I decided to run with it. Ladies, please don't be offended. I mean no disrespect. I respect all women for their minds and personality. Now, I probably won't post anything that is deeply insightful, or anything that everyone hasn't thought of before, I just thought that it'd be interested to post about one of the most important things in a man life (straight men, of course). I mean think about it, how many times do you guys look at a woman and your gaze hovers below the collar line? And ladies, how may times have you had a conversation with me and thought to yourself, 'Ok Eic, my eyes are up here....'? Is there anything more attractive or attention grabbing than women's breasts? Maybe if a guy had a giant Johnson and was in some really tight pants..... No. Boobies are better. Now, before I proceed, I am not trying to offend anyone. I just think this is an interesting topic.

In my opinion, women's breasts are one of (or two of, I guess) the most inportant things in the world to men. Now, you are thinking, 'Come on, Eric. What about the war?' Yes, the war is terrible and a big thing, but think about it. How many ways can you say 'war'? Battle, strife, police action, skirmish, war, I can't really think of too many ways to say war other than to say war. Now, how many words and phrases have been created in reference to breasts? Boobs (boobies), tits (titties), knockers, hooters, melons, jugs, rack, twins, sisters, twin bald guys in a shirt... and then ways to discribe different sizes and shapes: torpeedos, mountains, itty bitty titties, tig bitties, fakies, perkie, droopy, I'm sure there's more, but I need to draw the line somewhere. To further express how important breasts are to society, how many times has a woman with large breasts walked into a room and you or you friend asks the question 'Do you think they're real?' Ladies, how many times have you caught guys looking at your breasts? Think about all of the women that get implants. Think about the stories you hear about your large breasted female friends getting out of speeding tickets by showing some cleavage.

I admit it. I love breasts. I don't know why. I just know that I like how they look and how they feel. Real, fake, big, or small it doesn't matter. I guess I don't like ginormous fake boobs that are so big that they are comical. It has to be plausable that they may be real. (For the record, I'm really more of an ass man.) On a show I once saw about breasts, it said that human females are the only mammal that the milk producing ogans are external when not lactating. I know that it ruins a bit of the attractiveness when you call them 'milk producing organs' but that is what they are. The show speculated why this is, but there was no definative answer. The only solid answer they really gave was that breasts are there to attract mates. DUH!

Some things that I've always wondered about:

1. Why are men more attracted to larger breasts? The scientific mind may say it is because men feel that large breasted women are able to provide more nourishment for thier offspring. Of course we all know that is bullshit. Men are attracted to large breasts because of the same reason they were attracted to the big car as a child. We all like playing with big things as apposed to small things. Personally, I don't care about size. As long as they are there and I am allowed to touch them, I am happy.

2. Why are female breasts attractive, but man boobs are not? Think about it, everyone, men and women, have probably looked at a woman with nice breasts and appreciated what they saw. Of course men, women probably thought, "She's quite lovely." and men thought, "Wow, nice rack." but the general appreciation is there. A guy with bitch tits doesn't get the same appreciation. He could not unbutton his top and get out of a speeding ticket. Is it the hair? Sorry, I hope I didn't just gross anyone out. It's just me being curious.