Why Buckets of Water Were Invented

I may have mentioned that Jessica's dad, his 'friend' James, Jessica's brother Toby, and Toby's girlfriend Jen were coming over for Christmas dinner. This was the plan, at least. What was not the plan was that James would bring his ex's yippie shit of a dog, Toby. (Not to be confused with Jessica's brother, Toby.) First off, as soon as the little shit (a miniature poodle and some other little shit dog mix) of a dog got in the door, it started yipping and yelping when our dogs were checking him out. Take the finger nails on chalk board sound, add a cat being strangled sound, mix them up, and make the sound ten times mote annoying and you get the sound that comes out of that rat-dog's mouth. I had to take some Advil for my head. Then, the little shit squeezed through our gate keeping our dogs out of the living room and he took a piss on the carpet. I wanted to kick it, but instead I picked him up to take him out and he continued to piss on my hand. It was the first time that I can remember being pissed on. I wanted to kill the fucker. Then, after it pissed on my carpet and pissed on me, James was letting it crawl all over our less than a year old couch without asking if it was OK to let the half crap of a dog be on the couch. We don't let our dogs on the couch, but apparently, James feels he can do what ever the fuck he wants in my house. Our dogs, seeing this little shit on the couch, started jumping on the couch to get to the little shit, so I yelled at them to get down. I thought that might be a hint to prompt James to ask if his "dog" could be on the couch, but no. He just let the piss factory stay on my $1000+ piece of furniture. Needless to say, I was in a grumpy mood because of this. How do you tell your father-in-law's 'friend' to get his half-turd of a canine to get the fuck off the furniture? If only I had a bucket of water and five minutes alone. Dogs smaller than cats should not exist.

Oh The weather Outside is......FUCKING COLD!!!!

0. That was what my car's thermometer indicated. 0 degrees. Shit! We went to my parent's house for the weekend and were hoping that zero was the temp up in the Toledo area and Columbus was a bit warmer. Thank goodness we were right. 3. That is what my car said as we pulled into our driveway. BURR!!!!! Needless to say, the dogs haven't been enjoying the fact that they need to go out to pee and poo.

Anyway, we had a nice time at my parents' house. The kids LOVE going up there. They get to see my parents, who they love, and play with my 20+ year old Transformers and GI Joe toys. We also got to see my brother, his wife, and their baby Will (short for William). Will is cute and very sweet. I played with him for a litle while, which I would do normally (babies make me nervous) and I made him laugh alot. I guess he likes unkie Eric.

The kids were happy to be able to open presents early. Gabe got some Transfomers, Ally got a new doll house that she LOVES, and Noah got an Air Hog romote control plane that is broker already. I told him to hold it in the car, he didn't, an Moose (our dog) crunched it. He also got a PSP game that we plan on exchanging for a Nintendo DS game (we're getting him one of those). All in all, it was a fun trip. Too much food and too much drink. I definately need to diet when the holidays are over.

Stuff

Last night was a fun night. Yes, bowling night. I bowled well, played cards well, and almost won $1000+. The bowling lanes has a 'super strike' jackpot. If you bowl a strike every frame designated on a little piece of paper, you win the jackpot. I had all the striked needed the first game and the second game. And almost all the way through the third game. I needed strikes in the ninth and tenth frames.....three in a row. My ninth frame ball was perfect and solid in the pocket......and it left a solid seven pin. Solid. It sucked. Still I bowled well, 650+. It was also free drink night. Not all of our drinks were free, just one per bowler. We added a shot of tequilla to our usual pitchers of beer. I was then given another free drink coupon, so another shot.

Poker was fun too. I won $80. I am suprised about that since I got beat up on early in the night. I had AA and got my butt kicked by a full house. Then I started hitting hands and winning pots. Good times.

Ever see one of those cartoon falls?

You know, when the cartoon character hits a patch of ice, flies up into the air, and then falls flat on his back? That was me yesterday. Taking Gabe out to the bus stop, I was dumb and forgot about the freezing rain we had all night. I hit the first step outside out front door and went down like a ton of bricks, flat on my back. Needless to say, I am sore today. Really sore.It could have been a lot worse though. The things that helped:

-There are only three steps to our front door, so it was a relatively short trip.

-My momentum was enough to carry me all the way down, so I didn't hit my back or my head on one of the concrete steps.

-My feet went straight out and I didn't have time to react, so both my arms and legs were out of the way. If I landed on one of my arms or if my legs were under me, I could have broken or sprained something. Sure my back hurts, but a blown knee or broker arm would have hurt more.

-Better me than one of the kids or Jessica.

All in all it could have been a lot worse. My back should feel better in a few days. Honestly, when I hit, I thought I was going to be laying there waiting for Gabe to call 911. It was more of a shock than anything. It was hard getting up because I would try to plant my foot and it would slip again. I mean, it was REALLY slippery. Golly, I really hope these pain killers kick in soon.

December? Really???

Not only is it December, it is almost Christmas! Only 17 more day in 08! Time just seems to fly by now that I am getting oldish. It seems like just yesterday I was posting about how happy I was about Spring time and now it is almost Winter. Oh well.

We aren't doing anything too exciting for the holiday season. We will be heading north to see my parents and brother's family. Did I ever mention that I am an uncle now? Anyway, I'm sure there will be too much food and drink there and the kids will have Christmas #1 with my parents. Then, in between our work schedules, we will have another Christmas, this one actually on Christmas day, with Jessica's dad and his 'friend'. We will cook too much food and have too much drink. The fun part, of course, is watching how excited the kids get. It's strange, Ally is already questioning the existance of Santa Clause. She's three, remember? I guess she is scary smart. I'm not sure how she is figuring it out, but she is already skeptical. Weird, right? Gabe is cute though. He wrote letters to Santa for everyone. Yesterday I cut out some trees out of paper for the little kids to decorate. I think they enjoyed it. Gabe made big, more detailed decorations and Ally made little dot ornaments that covered the trees.

Last night was kind of fun. Gabe had a reading assignment to complete, so he read the book to me and then we answered some questions about the book. He amazes me when he reads. He know so many big words. I don't think I could read half as well and he can in 1st grade. I really think that early childhood education is much more advanced then when I was in school.

the Songs that Made The Cut

I can't find the post, but a while ago I asked people for ideas for songs for me to download from ITunes. 80's songs, specifically. Actually, I kind of wanted songs that reminded me of my younger years and were of a 'hair band' quality. You know, those cheesey 80's songs that you hate to love. Well, here are some of the songs that made the cut:

Radar Love - Golden Earring
Wait - White Lion
Runaway - Bon Jovi
We're Not Going to Take It - Twisted Sister
Youth Gone Wild - Skid Row
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
Should I Stay or Should I Go? - The Clash
What I Like About You - The Romantics
I Wanna Rock - Twisted Sister
Come on Feel the Noise - Quiet Riot
Love Song - Tesla
Final Countdown - Europe
Round and Round - Ratt
Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
The Way it Is - Tesla
Paradise By the Dashboard Light - Meat Loaf
Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
Foreplay - Boston
Only Time Will Tell - Asia
Talk Dirty to Me - Poison

Questions? Comments? Did I miss any 'must have' music?

Fucked Up Dreams

I don't know why, but I have been having the most fucked up dreams lately. Fucked up. That is really the only way to describe it. Monday night is a bit fuzzy, but I distinctly remember Wayne Brady (from Who's Line is it Anyway and Don't Forget the Lyrics) in a superhero outfit, standing in a heroic pose in a bedroom. The weird part was there was a four post bed and the posts were fallic shaped. He was standing in front of one of them so that the post looked like a four foot tall erection. It was really quite funny, aside from the fact that I dreamed of a black man with a four foot boner coming at me. Now, it was NOT sexual, it was more like watching an episode of SNL.



Last night was the most fucked up dream that I can ever remember. It was kind of a fun dream, but fucked up. It was sort of in the Star Wars universe. Well, there were Jedi and Vader. I think I was one of the Jedi or a Han Solo type guy. We were attacking a Star Destroyer to rescue someone. The fucked up parts were: The Jedi had flaccid light sabres, so it was like they were whipping around rubber hoses. The ship we went back to was commanded and staffed by GI Joes. When we made the rescue and returned to the ship, the shouted "Yo Joe!" And when I returned to my quarters on the ship, there were two hot girls that wanted me to pleasure them.



I know what you are thinking. Both dreams probably have something to do with my sex life. Well, I don't want a black man (much less Wayne Brady) coming at me with a four foot cock. I also do not have problems with a 'flaccid light sabre'. Two hot girls at once would be ok, but I don't see that happening, what with me being overweight, almost middle-aged, and...oh yeah!....married. I guess sometimes a fucked up dream is just a fucked up dream.

Going Bowling

Ohio State is going to a BCS bowl again. I don't know if I am exactly thrilled about the match-up they drew though. Ohio State gets to go to the Fiesta Bowl to face snubbed the Texas Longhorns. Ohio State has done well in the Fiesta Bowl, winning the last three times they appeared. That is probably the main reason why they got the bowl berth. Ohio State fans travel well and generate big television ratings. I don't know if I like their chances of winning though. I always keep the faith and will cheer on the Buckeyes until the last tick of the clock, but the offense has struggled at times. On top of that, Texas should be in the Title game (in my opinion). They beat Oklahoma soundly, but for some reason, Oklahoma got invited to the ball. The Longhorns are going to take out their frustrations on the Buckeyes in a big way. Still, I will remain hopeful. Ohio States two losses came to the two teams matched up in the Rose Bowl and who both could also be considered for the BCS title game.

NetFlix fun

I talked a little about how I can watch netFlix movies and shows on my Xbox the other day. It is a really cool feature of the new Xbox Live format. You have to have a NetFlix membership though. Anyway, I started watching a show called Jericho using this feature the other day. Has anyone seen Jericho before? First, I was a little offended because I thought the show was calling me a ho. J-Eric-Ho. I know. Silly, right? Anyway, I was very suprised by Jericho. I also found the name of the show ironic. In the Bible, God had a beef with the walled city of Jericho and commanded Joshua to lay siege. At least I whink that is how the story goes. Anyway, the show Jericho is about a town that survives a nuclear holocaust. See why the name is ironic now? Not knowing how the whole show goes, I am half expecting the series finale to be called 'The Fall of Jericho.' As you can imagine, people have difficulty coping with the loss of major US cities and the loss of general luxuries (power, food, medicine, etc.) Plus, some of the unsavory people turn to criminal acts and underhanded practices. Like the store owner who startes charging $20 for water, for example. I won't get into the plot too much, but I am really enjoying the show so far. It is on NetFlix's 'watch instantly' list, so watch it online.

Thanks Woody

I have been meaning to use the new Xbox Live interface as a post, but I keep forgetting. His last comment gave me the reminder I needed. I totally missed the announcement that things were going to change for Xbox Live. Actually, I got the email from Xbox about the change the day after the new format was up on my Xbox. I am not too sure what I think about it. It looks like they ripped off the Wii a bit. You get to create an avatar who, as far as I can tell, just stands there while you browse the menu. It is a little strange to be honest. One of the things I am excited about is that I can watch stuff that is available to view online through Netflix on my Xbox. I just have to put some 'view it now' movies into my queue and my Xbox can find them through my network so that I can watch them on my TV upstairs. Granted, it is mostly old movies, but sometimes they have some good TV shows and B movies. Other than that, the new Xbox lay out seems like a whole lot of window dressing for the same old stuff. You can still do all of the same old stuff that you could do on the old interface. Still, it looks sharp and more high tech.

Other fun Xbox stuff is that I bought the new Call of Duty game and another game called Left 4 Dead. The COD game is pretty fun. The solo mission was pretty short, but we first person shooter buffs get COD for the multi player feature. There are some fun maps and neat changes. The best and worst thing is that, after killing seven in a row without dying, you get to call out the dogs. In the previous game, you would call out a helecopter. People can hide from a helecopter. You can't hide from the dogs. The new COD game is also much more graphic. When you hit a land mine, you get to watch your legs get blown off. Gross, but cool.

I got Left 4 Dead because I enjoyed Dead Rising so much. It is a zombie game. L4D is different from Dead Rising. You get to go around killing zombies, but you are limited to guns. No, swords or chain saws.....yet. Another difference is that the zombies in L4D are SCARY. They shamble around slowly, like traditional zombies, but when they see you or hear you, they get fast and run at you like in the new scarier zombie movies. One neat aspect is that you can play online with three of your friends. There are four characters in the game, and you can choose to play as any of them. The game tracks your kills, so you can compare stats with your killin' buddies. Fun stuff. It is a scary game though. I have jumped a few times when getting jumped by the undead.

Happy Turkey Day

I have been off since Monday, so that is why there have been a lack of posts. I just wanted to take a sec and wish everyone a lovely holiday. I LOVE Thanksgiving dinner food. It is one of the best meals ever. Still, it takes all day to make everything, so that must be why it is a one year deal. Still, YUM!

I must be a teen girl

Jessica is a big fan of vampire books and movies. She has read all of those Ann Rice books and has seen the movies. We have been watching True Blood, a vampire show on HBO, and she has also read these 'teen' books that have come out recently. I don't know the author, but the first book was made into a movie and is called Twilight. Jessica has read all of the books in the series that are out and she dragged me to the movie that came out this past week. I was a little sceptical at first, since it was basically being promoted as a teen flick. Still, I kind of like the vampire movies too. All in all, I really liked this film. Yes, it a teen type movie, and there were a few things that we a little lame, but it was entertaining. I liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Twilight was pretty much on the same level. It had funny stuff, pretty people, action, drama, good vs. bad......not a bad movie. I don't think it is for everyone, but I think I may start reading the books after all. Jessica said the books are on the same level as the Harry Potter line, so I may enjoy them.

I need help

When I bought Fable 2, it came with a $15 ITunes gift card. Nice, huh? Well, I usually don't download my music, since I decided that I like buying the CD so that I have something tangible to hold on to, so I need to find 15 songs to download. I think I want to make an 80's play list. I like hair bands, nut not enough to really buy a whole CD. Anyway, what are some good 80's songs? I checked a VH1 list of the top 80's songs and was pretty disappointed. Not too much I would consider downloading. I guess there are some OK songs, but I want those songs that you can't help but sing along to. "Tainted Love", for example. So, what do you all think? What are those songs from the 80's that make your foot tap and booty shake? Keep in mind, I have most of the good hard rock songs from the 80's like Rush, GnR, AC/DC, and things like that.

Will there ever be a play offs?

Well, today closes up Ohio State's regular football season. The Buckeyes have had a pretty good season. I see it as only a one loss season, since the loss at USC is really the only true defeat of the season. Yes, Penn State was ahead of the Buckeyes when time expired, but the buckeyes beat themselves that game. No fumble and the Bucks have one loss. Oh well. The Buckeyes will probably go to a good bowl game, possibly BCS, so I will have one more game after todays match up against the Wolverweenies.

I hope that the NCAA will pull its head out of its ass and allow the BCS to die and finally set up a play offs. Granted, OSU would probably miss the cut off this year, but there always seems to be someone on the outside feeling that they should be playing for that crystal football. Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. They could still have all of the money making bowl games, and even incorporate the bowls into the playoff system (8 teams go to 4 BCS bowls, the four winners advance, and so on). If anything, they would be able to make more money with the extra games. I just don't get it.

Well, as previously mentioned, Ohio State plays M*ch*g*n this week. I think the Buckeyes are a 20+ point favorite. This game always worries me because records really don't mean much. The favored teams have lost a plenty of times in the past. I feel confident that Ohio State will win, but I won't start celebrating until the clock reached double zero.

GO BUCKS!!

Blah-ging

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I guess not too much interesting going on. Kind of a 'blah' week. Sure, the OSU vs M*ch*g*n game is tomorrow, but I am having a hard time getting up for the game. I'm sure I've mentioned that already. I am even skipping out on the day long OSU Alumni gig today, Hyper-Friday. Basically, the TBDBITL alum get on busses, get drunk, and play pep bands around Columbus. Fun times. Getting drunk is optional.

Question: is it weird to have a dream about a girl that you dated double digit years ago? I had a weird dream last night about a girl I used to date way back in the college years. Nothing dirty, just hanging out. She had a little girl with her, which was the weird part. I guess after all this time, children would be a possibility. Still, it was weird because she had errands to run and left her kid with me. Other than my kids, I do not see myself as the guy people would trust their children with.

I bowled OK last night. I had a 580 series. I keep hovering right at my 190 average. That is not bad, but I still am pretty frustrated with myself. I am nailing strikes, but missing probably 80% of my spares. That really irritates me. If I leave a split or a hard spare, I am OK, but easy one pin spares should be automatic. I may go to the bowling alley some time soon to just practice spares. I think a large part of it is that I have been throwing my first ball a little differently the past few weeks (slower). Since I roll the ball slower, it breaks more. When I throw a spare ball, I try to roll is straighter, but if it rolls slower, it breaks more.

A so-so poker week. I won $140+ Wednesday and lost $40 last night. Wednesday was a good luck night, last night was bad luck. I started winning early lst night, but lost my mojo when I flopped a flush and lost the hand to a full house on the river. It was about a $80 hand. Still, I played OK and made some good reads. I made my first $20 last several hours and only lost the second $20 because I was irritated and made too many dumb calls.

Stuff

Ohio State won this weekend and moved up into the top ten of the BCS poll. I do not forsee them getting into the National Title game, but a BCS Bowl game would be nice. I just would not be thrilled about a USC rematch. True, the offense is better with Wells back in the game a Pryor running the offense. They are certainly a hot and cold team. They kicked the crap out of Michigan State and Northwestern, but looked flat and weak against Penn State and USC. It is the 'big game' this weekend against M*ch*g*n. The Wolverweenies are having their worst season EVER with 8 losses already, but rivalry games always have a way of bringing the best out of a squad. Ohio State should be OK though. I don't think 'Rich-Rod' gets the rivalry enough to get the motivate the Maize and Spiew.

I bought Gears of War 2 last week. I think I have an Xbox addiction. I finished Fable 2 again. I wanted to take a break from it before starting over again as a bad guy. I was able to find and shoot all of the gargoyles and I bought all of the big properties I wanted to buy. I will play again as an evil person in a while. Anyway, Gears of War 2 is pretty fun so far. It is a shooter, but from the third person point of view. It is a little weird to get used to at first, but is a neat change of pace. The game really makes you feel like you are in it as the main character of a movie. Fun stuff. As with all shooters though, the button schemes are different from every other game, so it makes it hard to play Call of Duty 4. You expect to throw a grenade and reload instead.

Oh Yeah. There's a Game Today

Well, the OSU season has lost some of it's excitement now that the National Title and the Big Ten Title are both pretty much out of the picture. Sure, every team above OSU could lose the rest of their games like last season, but that is highly unlikely. In case you care, my prediction for the title game is Penn State against Texas Tech. Ohio State should go to the Rose Bowl if they can win out, but they would likely play USC again. Yikes. Anyway, today Ohio State plays at Northwestern. Northwestern is a much better team this year than they have been in the past and this game is not a sure win for the Buckeyes. They SHOULD win, with the better talent, but their execution has been weak. Still, I am not a fair weather fan, so I will be watching and cheering on my Buckeyes. GO BUCKS!!

Fun night....mostly

I had a pretty fun night last night. As you may know, Thursdays are made for bowling and poker. It was actually a 'hot and cold' night. First the hot part of bowling. I was hitting my mark from the word go. My first game was a 241. I started out with five strikes and then missed. My second game was better at a 258. Then, (I think it was the beer) I started screwing up. I threw a few splits, missed a few easy spares, and rolled a 165. Nice 90+ pin drop off, eh? I hit my 650 goal I mentioned yesterday, but could have rolled a 700+. It upset me a bit. On top of that, the team we bowled against was HOT. They kicked our asses. They had a new guy on the team and he rolled a 220 average. Yikes. The other guys did really well too and my team was a little off.

Poker went the same way. At first, our usual game was called off because no one had shown. So, My bowling buddies started a little game at the bowling ally. It turned into a decent sized game of 8 players until the bowling ally management asked us to stop. I won $30 there. I then got a call from our usual poker site saying game was on. I went over there and dropped $20. I got terrible cards. Still, all in all I had a fun night. I stayed up too late. I am dead tired now.

good things

Barack won. I think this is cool for us little people. Maybe not so much for huge corporations though. Hopefully he and the new Democrats will make our country what it should be and help out us poor folk. This is the first time ever I was excited about an election.

I really can't say enough about Fable 2. It is like video game crack to me. I thought I was addicted to Halo 3, but this is something bigger. I get lost in the world of Fable 2 sometimes. I crave it other times. It may actually start becoming a problem for me if I can't get it under control. Just kidding. I am getting excited though. There are 50 gargoyles around the Fable 2 world that, if you shoot them all, will give you the 'ultimate reward'. Three of the gargoyles require that you buy pricey buildings in order to find them. So, I would find items on sale in one region and sell them for a gain in another region. It is best to do this with weapons. One blacksmith gave me such a huge discount that I was able to double my money a few times. So far, I have bought two of the buildings and shot 49 of 50 gargoyles. The last one requires that I finish the main game, go back into the world, and buy one last building for $1 mil. I have a half mil in gold now, but am not too sure if I can top the 1 mil mark. Still, I will be excited if I get it. I am not too sure what the 'ultimate prize' will be and how fun it would be to get it after the game is pretty much over. I am playing as a female now. A lesbian though, because I thought it would be weird to flirt with the male characters in the game. I have my girl dressed in a goth outfit with black makeup. I don't know why. This game is crazy fun.

I am still holding my bowling average in the 190s. I has a rough go the first week of rolling my new ball, but the last few weeks I have done well. Currently, my team is in second place and we bowl the #1 team tonight. I am hoping for a big night. I am happy with myself when I hit my average, which means a 576 series. I am shooting for a 650 series this week though. If I get on track early, I should be able to hit it. My new ball is working exactly the way I hoped.

Go Vote

Thank goodness that all of these obnoxious political ads are about to come to an end. Only a few ore days of hearing about the evils of Barack Obama. Sorry John. I'm not buying it. I have heard far too many things coming out of Obama's mouth to believe all the nasty half truths coming out of McCain's camp. I haven't heard anything about how McCain is going to help me other than letting the rich keep getting richer off of the goods and services that my family needs to survive. I don't mean I want small businesses to be overly taxed so that I can save on health care, gas, and food. I mean that the companies that are making billions selling the products I need should be put into check a bit. For example, the financial companies that we are bailing out are still paying out millions of dollars in bonuses to the people that fucked up the economy. That should not be happening. Medical companies ignore some deadly diseases because they are not profitable enough to cure. That is bullshit. Gas companies are posting record earnings while I can only put a half tank of gas into my car. I'm just glad I don't need to drive to work anymore. My meager money would become even more meager. Well, in that nut shell, I am planning on voting for Obama.

I am also voting to pass the Hilliard school levy, and probably voting for the casino in Ohio. The ads of the casino are confusing because they contradict each other. One side say that the casino owner could pay no taxes, the other side say that plenty of money will go to Ohio. My friend Jesse put it into perspective for me though. Honda has a factory in Ohio. Those profits go to Japanese companies. Why would it be so bad for a casino, creating thousands of Ohio jobs, to send its earnings out of state? Ohio is still going to get its $20mil out of the deal. Plus I doubt that law makers would propose a law that would screw the state. There has to be some checks and balances put in so that Ohio doesn't get screwed. Besides, the main sponsor for the ads against the casino are Indiana casinos. They don't want all that Ohio money they earn staying in Ohio. I know that, if the Ohio casino has poker, I probably won't go to the Indiana casinos at all.